Mistakes and Actions
I made a horrid mistake, I was careless with a good woman’s heart.
I now have a chance to put things right.
The last few weeks have been full of self doubt, but recently I’ve found a ray of hope.
She lives far away, and I’ve decided to spend money I don’t really have to chase after a dream of a happy continuation (Because it doesn’t end, even if the story ends…).
So I’ll drive all day to try and show her what level I’m willing to go to to prove that she is what matters to me.
I mean, I even wrote a silly, Steampunk inspired poem!
(I’ve not written a poem like this in years…)
They don’t turn anymore, since they slipped out of sync.
There’s an empty place, where your gear goes.
And though everything still works, and the machine still runs.
There’s a spot where the tic-toking has stopped.
They don’t turn anymore, since they slipped out of sync.
Wind as I may, they just won’t go.
And when things move, it’s with a jerky hitch.
As if the smooth action has something lost.
They don’t turn anymore, since they slipped out of sync.
The mainspring’s loose, and just won’t hold.
Nothing will mesh, and the teeth are worn down.
And there’s an empty place, where your gear goes…..
Here’s to actions (Driving 4 hours) speaking louder than words (I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry).
I will make this right.
I sympathize. This morning I can honestly say I was empathetic as I awakened from a dream state, half remembering the feelings I felt so strongly, year after year of hunting or seeking companionship. From my teenage years into college, and for some time afterwords, I annually plunged into quests for Love. Sometimes I found someone I thought I could ‘work’ with, but the void made by separation depressed me to no end. I was repeating cycles of elation, anger, and sorrow without being stuck in just one, and yet doomed (as is often the human condition) to repeat these, to the exclusion of stability. The Horror that somehow distance seemed to destroy my relationships, and I was a lonely prisoner to my own emotions, still haunts me. Feeling alone I used my emotions to build me up and bring me down. I am the same person, yet the shifts are not as bad. I thank the gods because I have paid most of my dues to the Underworld Darkness for this lifetime, until my judgment upon death. Somehow I was spared the ineptitude of perpetual sorrow, so that I may create for myself and others. So mote it be.